bd

: UPDATE :

Secret Service gets a 'D' for their Performance During Shoe Fiasco.  

After watching it a good few times, it is evident that there is no movement of the Secret Service towards POTUS until well after the second shoe is thrown.  

To be fair, the entire 'incident' took place over only 3 or so seconds, from the time he started to throw the first shoe until the time he is tackled by fellow reporters.  It takes over four seconds for any agent to really make any significant move towards the President, and within seven seconds the President is surrounded by what looks to be more than 10 agents.  

Still, the thought arises: what had this been a grenade and we were today mourning the loss of our 43rd President George W. Bush?  (This brings me to Bush's final grade for the incident.... C+.  He gets high marks for dodging that first throw so masterfully.  But by the time the second shoe is thrown, he needs have already hit the deck.  Again, his brain says "just a shoe" but Richard Reid there in the crowd may have different ideas.  He loafs around the podium and swipes away the second shoe.  Sheesh+.)  But had this been the case, had Bush been assassinated in Iraq yesterday, it would have been a national tragedy.  This because the assassination of a sitting President is always an abhorrent affront to democracy, but also because it would give Cheney four or so weeks at the healm, and also because it would, in a lot of ways, allow Bush to die a hero.  All of these consequences are unacceptable.

Of course, this did not happen, and we are all lucky to live in a slice of multiverse where the shoe throwing reporter does not also have affiliations with Al Qaeda or a fetish for heels.  

In comments, below, Mr. Bobby Campbell says:

I feel as though both the Iraqi journalist & President Bush acted very appropriately and both deserve applause. This exchange was absolutely necessary and it worked out perfectly, I am pleased!

I agree with you, Bob, in that there is a certain air of catharsis to the whole thing.  This brings me to two points, though.  First, the whole thing, in light of the above observation, seems a bit staged if you ask me.  The nonchalance of Bush, (esp) Al-Maliki, the Secret Service, combined with the "wag the dog" vibe of that "press room" all seems a bit too well rehearsed.  

As Timmy Toner said, "I bet they filmed that shit in the same studio they filmed the moon landing."  

I then attempted to assure him that the moon landing was real, making the argument that since we were then able to launch craft into space, and simple euclidian (essentially) geometry trajects the transitory path of the vehicle to its safe arrival on the moon.  

To disbelieve the moon landing is to disbelieve the Martian Rovers, the Hubble Telescope, the Cassini orbiter, the Voyager mission, Challenger, Discovery, cell phones and satellite radio et al. good and bad.  

In my humblest of opinions, of course.

But getting back to the President's new shoes...

I greatly appreciate the frustration of some Iraqis and other global citizens who feel strongly aggrieved by the current Administration's record in foreign relations.  I do not like to see such things happen whatsoever, but I appreciate the glee they feel in seeing our President humiliated thusly.  And I can't say, at the end of the day, that Mr. Bush doesn't deserve it.  He has dug his own grave in this matter, and his hubris and arrogant swagger belie his belief that his actions are righteous.  

That being said, Mr. Bush remains our President, and this insult reverberates beyond the disappointment of a saddened, confused man about to face the most rapid and difficult retirement a human can face.  After all, the shoes sailed past Mr. Bush, and right into the American flag behind him.  

In that way, Mr. Reporter whose name I continue to not feel like looking up, your thrown shoes were aimed at, and felt by, America.  And this, to the people of the country which has invigorated global potential with the election of Barack Obama!?  I say this with a sense of irony, but I also feel it as somewhat true.  

I can't keep a straight face while saying it because despite our election of Mr. Obama (which may or may not prove helpful to global affairs) we are still quite culpable to the world at large. For what, you ask?  For instance: creating the global financial crisis, not leading and even stoking the global ecological crisis, and of course, for Iraqis like Mr. "hero to the shoeless everywhere" Reporter, bombing the shit out of their country, occupying it poorly, and directly and indirectly causing the deaths of countless of their countrymen.  

AND YET

Despite Mr. Bush's lackluster performance and blustery histrionics as President, historians just might look back, twenty years from now, in a cafe on a crowded street in a safe Baghdad and embrace the Bush vision.  That is definitely what Mr. Bush wants you to think these days, at least.  While I am much less apt to accept this view of future reality than he, I don't deem it impossible either.  

Which brings me to this:  Mr. Bush is gone.  He is no longer our President, for all intents and purposes.  So who was this guy throwing his shoes at?  Us?  The American people and the American ideological template?  Were Mr. Obama standing there with Al-Malaki, would he have thrown his shoes at him?  

My guess is that the answer to these questions is: no.  Mr. al-Zeidi's words are a clue to his intentions and motivations:

"This is a farewell kiss, you dog. This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."

OK.  So even though we stood by as a people and allowed the Bush machine to plow into Iraq unimpeded, I think, and I hope, that this anger towards Bush, that it acts in the Middle East much as it has here in America.  

Most everyone agrees that, at the least, Mr. Obama would have had a much more difficult time getting elected were it not for the atrocious performance of his predecessor.  Obama's popularity was a consequence of people's loathing Bush.  While it is not (completely, it is sorta) fair to the man himself, perhaps George Bush as a symbol for a hated America will become, in the Arab world, George Bush as the symbol of a hated man.  In this way, it could be that with the departure of Bush comes the departure of some of the vile vitriol that some in the Middle East and globally have directed at our country.  Of course, Qaeda and the like have no intentions of closing shop, though I do see the racist insults hurled at Obama and the attacks in Mumbai as acts of desperation, and hopefully portend to a quick end to such malevolent chicanery.  

So point being, all this hatred, frustration, and anger that Bush has helped to bring up (in the generally more moderate citizenry of the world) could serve us well, if Obama manages to make a sharp, clean break, and if Bush continues to be the primary symbol for distaste of the West.  

When Bush is down on the ranch in Texas, they can burn as many Bush effigies as they want in Baghdad, for as long as they want.  

And maybe, just maybe, before that (currently) despised man closes his eyes in life for the last time, they'll stop burning the effigies, stop and say "thank you, George W. Bush."

No promises.