Brendan shared this CNN article with the group. He stole it from someone who had shared it with his network, having poached it from someone who had shared it with him. This is how these things work.

I am NOT surprised to learn that I am an annoying facebooker, but I am somewhat surprised that I did not qualify for more of the obnoxious categories.

I am not, for instance, a "paparrazzo" or a TMIer, and certainly not a bad grammarian. I'm not a crank, or, generally, a lurker. I don't do much town-crying or sympathy baiting. However, I very much am a:

Self Promoter:
Are you coming to the Man without Plan show on Saturday??? You should be, of course. And that is why I do it: for my love of you. Sure, I want you to know what I am up to artistically... but honestly, why else are we on here, other than to "keep in touch," "touch base," and remind you about every single show my band ever plays????

Maddening obscurist:
This is pretty accurate, I admit. But again, why are we on here, if not to post the quippiest of quips as they beam from the netherworld into our brains, and out then, to the masses? Yes, Billy: we are all trying, in vain, to avoid our fates....
For better or worse, in real life, I hear this, a lot: "your facebook updates.... they are ..... interesting." To which, I say: you should see the crap I put on twitter!

Friend padder: I can't really fight this charge, although I will justify it. I have three types of people I generally add: 1.) absurd celebrities. Some are fake, some are real... this is done to satisfy my curious thirsts for celebrity AND absurdity. Not to mention, it JUST MAKES SENSE to keep Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, and Johnny Depp in the loop when it comes to the general goings on in Headies & Madison Underground Press - world. No?
2.) Real friends: If we have ever been friends, in that we spoke often, joked around, exchanged playful banter, used to date, worked together, played music together, had classes together, or were ever on a team together, I'm going to add you. If I used to be your camp counselor, or if I've poured you beers or drinks with any consistency, and I come across your online presence, you'll likely be added to. Sure, this is a broad, broad degree of "real" friends, but in the end, I would classify it in that if we recognized each other on the street, we would gladly engage in pleasantries, if nothing else.
3.) Folks I sorta know: This is probably the smallest category I pull from, but sometimes, if you have like 36 mutual friends with someone, and have seen them at shows for years, then what's the harm in a little online connectivity? I usually, though not always, refrain from adding people I have never spoken to, though sometimes once is enough. This is separate from the "real friends" categories for obvious reasons, but I draw the line between them at the point in which I (or they) would not stop on the street to exchange pleasantries, generally. This has happened to me twice recently, where I've seen someone in passing who is my "facebook friend" and they walked right on by, either unaware that I was the one who they so eagerly accepted a friend request from on that cold winter evening, or well aware of the fact, and attempting, successfully, to avoid that crazy asshole.

Of my 835 "friends" I would say that a good deal, maybe 600, fall into the broadly defined "real friends" category, with the rest being just good folks to whom it seems like a wise idea to stay connected.

So forgive my facebook obnoxiousness. I don't try to get you to fill out quizzes, or join my gang of violent virtual thugs, so how bad could I be, really?

You are coming to the show on Saturday though, right???

Time to update my status!